


Put up or shut up

by lurker



Category: Hockey RPS
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-13
Updated: 2010-09-13
Packaged: 2017-10-11 18:05:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/115335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lurker/pseuds/lurker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Patrick Kane talks too much, and Jonathan Toews finds a way to shut him up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Put up or shut up

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [2010 Hockey RPS Anonymous Kink Meme](http://panda-check.livejournal.com/193686.html) for the prompt _Patrick Kane talks too much, and Jonathan Toews finds a way to shut him up. Preferably with his mouth._

"I'm just saying, that girl had a rack like hello, sailor and she was smiling at you like Nigella Lawson, and you totally choked like you were twelve years old again."

"Okay, okay, alright already! We went out, I struck out, whatever. Let's move on, okay?"

Kaner grins at him, obnoxious and shit-eating. "Struck out? Tazer, you choked. Epically."

And okay, he may have stammered a little when he turned around from the bar and found her standing right behind him and, and smiling with intent, but Patrick's been going on about it since they left the club, blah blah blah like a one-track record all the way back to their hotel room. He gives him a dirty look. "Like you're one to talk. Not exactly like you picked up tonight, is it?"

Kaner smirks at him. "Yeah, but the same can't be said for last weekend, whereas you... well, your picture's in the dictionary next to 'dry spell'. Shit, can you even remember what to do with a chick when you get her alone?"

"Hey, I-" Jonathan starts, but Patrick barely lets him get a word in as he continues on.

"I bet you don't eve-"

And Jonathan's had enough, really, wants to shut Kaner up and wipe that ridiculous smirk off his face, wants to put this argument down before Kaner keeps at it for the rest of the week, and so-

So he kisses Patrick. Soft yet insistent, swallowing Kaner's surprise and his confused protestations until Kaner's eyes flutter shut and he's going with it, quiet at last.

Jonathan pulls back and grins to himself. He's tried a number of different ways to shut Kaner up, but that was hands-down the fastest method yet.

Tazer's not convinced it's the best method, though, because, well, leaving all the other reasons aside, it's also the one with the fastest recovery time.

"Uh, what, what the fuck?"

He may not be very eloquent, but he certainly hasn't shut up. "Well, I was trying to say that I do indeed remember what to do with a woman when I get her alone, but since you wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise I decided actions speak louder than words." He smirks at Patrick in turn as he makes his way over to his suitcase, pulling off his shoes and lining them up neatly for tomorrow. Kaner is quiet, again, and Tazer's just about to rank kiss him higher on the effectiveness scale when Kaner starts laughing.

"That's your argument ender? You take her home and give her a kiss goodnight at the door? Jonny! There wasn't even any tongue there. You, hah, you do remember how to french kiss, right? It's okay if you're a little rusty, I'm not going to judge." Kaner toes his shoes off and throws them at his suitcase haphazardly before flopping out on his bed. "Chuck us the TV remote, eh?"

"After that insult? No way in hell," says Tazer. "Here, I'll give you something to judge." He moves over to where Kaner's lying on the bed, crawls onto it so he's kneeling beside Kaner's stretched-out body, leans down and just goes for it. If his earlier kiss was insistent, this one's demanding. Intense.

"Well, Kaner? Satisfied yet?"

He's expecting Kaner to laugh it off, but: "Satisfied? Tazer, you haven't even tried to feel her up yet. Here she is, slightly drunk and stretched out on a bed, and you haven't even made it to second base." He kicks one foot up in the air. "Look, I'm still wearing my socks! You haven't even managed to get her feet undressed, let alone the rest of her. Tazer, I despair." He looks back at Jonathan from his socks, gaze intense. "Let me give you some tips, okay?"

Jonathan nods. He's finding it hard to breathe, suddenly. "So what should I do next, oh guru?"

"Well, the kiss was a good start, right? Points where points are due."

"Thank-you."

"But really--kneeling next to her? Try for a little contact! Try, try lying on top of her, right? You can go for a little dry humping as she gets more into it then."

"'Dry humping'? And they say romance is dead."

"Oh come on, are you trying to get laid or not? Focus, Tazer!"

"Or instead of coming on too strong and freaking her out, I could kiss her until she's begging for me to touch her, to run my fingers up under her shirt-" Jonathan suits action to words, rucks up Patrick's shirt and skims his fingers across the flat plains of Patrick's stomach. "-until she's just about ready to rip her own shirt off. Or maybe it's not her shirt she really wants my fingers under? Maybe..." Tazer runs his fingers down Kaner's stomach, dips them under the waistband of his jeans. "Maybe she really wants them under her skirt instead. Hmm?"

"Skipping second and going straight for third base, huh? And you thought I was being forward with the lying on top of her," says Patrick, but his hips are giving lie to his calm tone, snapping up into Tazer's touch.

"Well, I'm sure she knows why I invited her back to my place. It's not like there are any surprises here," says Jonathan, and he unsnaps Patrick's jeans, reaches inside and wraps his hand around the length of Patrick's cock. Patrick hisses and arches his back, pushing up on his elbows in a silent demand for more more more. "I'm sure she'll go for it when I suggest that we get out of our clothes now. I mean, it's hot when you're still mostly dressed, but then again, I think she'll be on board with the increased access you can get when you're both naked. Don't you agree?"

"Absolutely, young grasshopper. Although I will suggest, with the wisdom born of extensive experience, that it's faster if you each undress yourself instead of the other person or it's like a drunk octopus duel for the buttons, so if you don't mind?" Patrick sits up so he can pull his shirt off, kicks off his socks as he lies back down and shoves his jeans and boxers off over his hips. Jonathan watches for a moment, admiring, before getting with the schedule and standing so he can shuck his own clothes off to pool in a mess on the floor. He's staring at the wonderful expanse of skin before him when Patrick clears his throat elaborately.

"Well, are you going to get on with things or do you need a more detailed walkthrough for this stage?" asks Kaner. Tazer thinks Patrick might be blushing, just a little, but his tone is a cocky as ever.

"Nah, I'm pretty sure I've got this part."

"And that is?"

Tazer moves to stand next to the bed between Kaner's legs, wraps his hand around the base of Patrick's cock again. "Well, I've made it to third base, but I think we both know that a bit of tongue judiciously applied at this stage will get you anything you want for the rest of the evening. Right?" Precome has started to gather at the tip of Kaner's dick, and Jonathan swipes his thumb over it, teasing at what he's going to do next.

"I don't know, Tazer. Why don't you show me what you've got and I'll let you know?" Patrick challenges, but his voice has gone slightly desperate. "Time to put up or shut up."

"I think you'll agree I can use my mouth for better things than talking right now," says Jonathan, and he slides to his knees and bends down to swipe his tongue across the head of Patrick's cock, tasting the saltiness and warmth before sucking Patrick's cock into his mouth. Tazer had assumed Kaner would be vocal during sex but he turns out to be almost silent, mostly making quiet sighs of pleasure and want. Tazer pulls off and traces the underside of Kaner's cock with his tongue, spit running down to his fist still wrapped around the base of Kaner's dick. He teases at the slit again, quick darting movements with his tongue, then pulls back to admire his handiwork and Christ but it's so hot Tazer can hardly believe it's actually happening.

Patrick is looking down at him, pupils blown wide open, and ordinarily he'd say that it's definitely time for fourth base now but he doesn't have any condoms or lube and there's no way he's stopping now to go looking for them. He scrambles up onto the bed, hungry for the feel of Patrick's skin, and stretches out on top of him, lining up against him so he can wrap a hand around both their cocks and thrust against Patrick while they kiss, frantic and urgent. He's close, so close, his long-neglected cock sensitive to every tiny movement, and he really hopes Patrick's close too because there's no way Patrick will let him live it down if he comes first. He thrusts his tongue into Patrick's mouth, showing him how it would be, before pulling back to bite at Patrick's lower lip, and that's it, he feels Patrick's come spilling warm over his hand and cock and stomach, and he shouts as he follows suit.

After, the room is silent except for the sound of their slowing breathing. Jon rolls off Patrick and flops down onto his back, panting. He itches to press up against Patrick again, to wallow in the afterglow, but he feels like they're coming to the end of--whatever this is. They're at the tipping point, he knows, and depending on what they do next they can still write this off, chalk it up to too much alcohol, late nights and stupid dares, or. Or.

Or Patrick can lean over and kiss him again, make it a beginning.


End file.
